You are so cool Nancy K

I confess I loved  you Nancy sooo much. It's been a decade and I still think of you often. I guess you never wanted to hear my side of the story because I didn't act and left that girl quick enough.I should of just let her be and let her worry about her own issues at that time. I thought you would of held on a little bit longer to tidy up things as I thought I owed her that.

 

I confess that I was a jerk for not forgoing everything else for you.  Last week I found out you are now  married and have a chilid and it hurt me a lot hearing that. I thought somehow sometime we would of bumped into each other and time would of disolved all the differences between us and we would find that love again.

 

I've never loved as much since and Im sure you got over me years ago. I know I hurt you more than anyone had and that is why you dont talk to me or want to konw anything about me. I wish it was different and at least we were some kind of friends. You leaving devestated me for years and I hid away from you and everyone I knew because I thought fate woudl have brought us back . But i was just scared to see you incase I felt really bad seeing you.

 

I wish you had got angry at me and told me off or hit me and then said how much you loved me but you just clammed up becuase you always thought you were tougher than anyone. You acted so tough like it didn't bother you so I got back with the other girl to piss you off. I, didn't love her and in those months all I coulud think of was you as was the 3 years we got to know each other before we actutally were together. You used to say how you dont love and not show affection in public but when we were together you showed me the opposite without realsiing. You are cool and as I told you the last time I saw you . you will make the best mother. I wish it was with me because whenever I was with you I had a smile from ear to ear because I was sooo happy we were together.

 

I don't think you remember us laying in the car one night hugging and just listening to each other breath then that song by Lamb came on the radio. It was called Gorecki .You can youtube it if you forgot it.  I remember listening to it with you nestled on my shoulder and thinking Yes I finally feel content and like I am where I'm supposed to be. I am home.